Dear Abby: When I go out to eat with my girlfriends, I usually enjoy myself until it comes time for dessert. Then I get grief if I don't order any and they do. They'll say, "Oh, you're so tiny. You can eat it." Conversely, if I do order something, they tell me, "Well, I'd love some but my metabolism isn't as high as yours."
I have never made comments to them about calorie counting, needing to work out or concern about my weight. I feel fitness is a private matter, and I'm not comfortable with mine being the topic of discussion. Is there any way to respectfully and tactfully respond to their comments or redirect the conversation? —TAKES THE CAKE IN FLAGSTAFF, ARIZ.
Dear Takes The Cake: The way you said it in your letter is perfect: "I feel fitness is a private matter and I'm not comfortable with mine being the topic of discussion." Either state it when they comment on what you have ordered, or say it privately to each of your friends when you're away from a restaurant. If they are friends, they'll respect your feelings.
Dear Abby: Is it weird to not want to sleep in the same bed with my husband? We have an amazing, caring, fun relationship — but when it comes to sleep, I need my space while he prefers to cuddle all night. I always end up trying to push him over to his side, or telling him to please move. I know he gets offended because he's just trying to be close.
Abby, when I'm in bed with him I hardly get any sleep! He's always on my side and I can't move. It bothers me so much I end up sleeping on the couch.
Is this a bad sign for our marriage? Should I just stick it out for his sake? Our marriage is pretty close to perfect except for this one thing. —NEEDS MY SPACE IN WEST VALLEY, UTAH
Dear Needs Your Space: If you haven't already done it, you and your husband should have a calm discussion about this when you're both wide awake and rested. Sleep deprivation can cause any number of problems — slow reaction time behind the wheel of a car, inefficiency at work, and serious health problems. If your marriage is amazing, caring, fun and sexually satisfying for both of you, then sleeping separately isn't a "bad sign." It's the solution.