TV

‘Dancing with the Stars’ season finale: high, lows and leggy sequins (VIDEO)

Screenshot from video
Screenshot from video

Rumer Willis, the daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, took home the mirror ball champion’s trophy at the “Dancing With the Stars” finale last night in front of millions of viewers.

For those who are worried about moving on with their lives so suddenly after the end of season 20, fear not: The dancing stars will be interviewed on “Good Morning America” this morning and the show’s tour is coming to the Hartman Arena in Park City on July 21.

For those who didn’t make it through all two hours of the glitz and glam, rest assured: The Eagle has compiled a list of the night’s most memorable moments.

BEST STYLE: Although he was eliminated the first week, the rapper Redfoo returned in a black and white leopard jumpsuit on top of the grand piano where he performed his “juicy wiggle.”

WORST JOKE: Host Tom Bergeron tossed out a smarmy one-liner after a team of scantily clad male dancers enveloped his co-host, Erin Andrews: "I haven’t seen Erin that happy since we told her her birthday cake didn’t have any calories."

BIGGEST ANNOUNCEMENT: Alfonso Ribeiro, i.e. Carlton from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” will take over as the new host of “America’s Funniest Home Videos.”

SPOOKIEST: Willow Shields floated through a performance of Alice in Smoky-Floor-Wonderland. But Mark Ballas’ creepy White Rabbit pestered and seduced her, like the Phantom of the Opera hiding in a Donnie Darko rabbit suit.

THE MOST NECESSARY: Bare-skinned backs, feather plumes, rip-away tops, bleach blonde hair, sequins, sequins, sequins, more sequins and a crowd of almost entirely young fans whose adoring screams sounded as one.

MOST EMOTIONAL: Julianne Hough and her brother Derek danced next to a pair of children who played a younger version of themselves. The child dancers were technically spectacular, swiveling and sliding a pantomime of youthful rivalry. The two professionals did not move in such sharp edges and straight lines, but with jerks and bursts that were every bit as graceful but full of emotional punch. Every other performance before and after looked like mere dancing.

MOST OVERDONE: The show extended the six minutes of competitive dancing that everyone was waiting for into two full hours of entertainment. This included flashbacks, bloopers, reprisals of best hits, pre-interviews, post-interviews, bloviating judges, smoke from above, smoke from below, dancing in the sun, dancing in the dark, clouds of confetti, flashing lights, spotlights, mood lights and one bright mirror ball trophy.

THE MOST TEARS, MAYBE: After Bruce Willis’ daughter finished her final routine, a speck of light glinted off of what may have been some eye moisture before the camera cut to commercial.

MOST TELLING LINE: Host Tom Bergeron introduced a preview for the fake movie “Dance Hard” by saying that the leading role would be played by Tony Dovolani because the show couldn’t afford to pay for the real Bruce Willis.

BEST DANCER WITHOUT FAMOUS PARENTS OR INSPIRING LIFE STORY: Second-place contestant Riker Lynch.

BEST PARENTING: Neither Bruce nor Demi rushed the floor to take attention away from the self-proclaimed “best experience” of their daughter Rumer’s life, as she pumped her fists into the air and was declared the winner.

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