A slow-motion bullet. Female Viagra. Burning flowers. Here’s today’s talkers that are not so newsy.
1) The award for most unnecessary (but perhaps awesome) news of the day is a video of a handgun firing in slow motion that was captured with a camera that recorded 73,000 frames per second by MythBusters.
This is unnecessary because everybody knows that Keanu Reeves not only already invented slow-motion bullet vision but a rapid response yoga position called “The Matrix” to avoid them.
2) Many Wichita Eagle Facebook commenters mentioned last week, in response to a report that Wichita was making babies like rabbits: “Nothing to do but ‘Netflix N Chill’ lol.”
But why settle for procreating like rabbits, when Wichita could be procreating like super rabbits: the FDA is reportedly set to approve “the female viagra” by Sprout Pharmaceuticals.
3) Russia is burning flowers from the Netherlands. The Netherlands is claiming that it’s because of the country’s investigation into the deaths of the mostly Dutch passengers on Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 who were shot down above the Ukraine. Russian soldiers are suspected of being involved or aiding the Ukrainian nationalists who shot down the plane. Russia says it’s because the flowers are disease ridden.
Russia seems to have misheard Lady Macbeth who exhorted her husband to “look like the innocent flower, / But be the serpent under’t.” Her point was, according to commenters on Genius, that flowers look innocent, not the serpent killers who burn them.