There will be 35 bowls this season, one more than last. By 2050, experts believe three of four Americans will play in a bowl game.
The bowl season starts Dec. 18 with the — you guessed it — New Mexico Bowl. Oh yeah, UTEP (6-6) vs. BYU (6-6). On Dec. 18. At 1 p.m. Has there ever been a game no one watched?
Here's my helpful guide to the bowl season. You can thank me later:
New Mexico Bowl, UTEP vs. BYU — Instead of watching the game, I suggest playing scrabble with acronyms.
Humanitarian Bowl, Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State — Oh, the humanity. These teams have combined for an 18-7 record. At least there's that.
New Orleans Bowl, Ohio vs. Troy — Somebody is kidding. They're not really playing this game, are they? Come on, be serious.
Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl, Louisville vs. Southern Mississippi — I always said when they created a Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl, there would be too many bowl games.
MAACO Bowl, Utah vs. Boise State — This is an interesting matchup between teams that have been huge players on the national stage. Unfortunately, now they're in the MAACO Bowl.
Poinsettia Bowl, San Diego State vs. Navy — There are a lot of sailors in San Diego. And "Anchors Aweigh" is a catchy tune.
Hawaii Bowl, Hawaii vs. Tulsa — This Christmas Eve game will be attended by Santa Claus, who will quickly recognize he's lost.
Little Caesars Pizza Bowl, Toledo vs. Florida International — The fans of FIU, located in Miami, were asked if they wanted to spend Christmas in Detroit for this day-after-Christmas game. They politely declined.
Independence Bowl, Georgia Tech vs. Air Force — I'm sorry, Georgia Tech lost to Kansas this season and is 6-6. If there's a less-deserving bowl team in America, I'd love to see it. Hate to see it, I mean.
Champs Sports Bowl, North Carolina State vs. West Virginia — An OK game, actually. Yet utterly uninteresting. How can a game be both? Because it's bowl season.
Insight Bowl, Missouri vs. Iowa — What are two Big 10 schools doing in the same game? Oh, wait, Missouri didn't bolt for the Big 10. Are you sure?
Military Bowl, East Carolina vs. Maryland — The only thing military about this game will be the retreat from the stadium at halftime.
Texas Bowl, Baylor vs. Illinois — 7-5 vs. 6-6. At least this former NFL Network gem has found its way to ESPN.
Alamo Bowl, Arizona vs. Oklahoma State — The Wildcats have a guy named Stoops on the sideline. That doesn't bode well for OSU, does it?
Armed Forces Bowl, SMU vs. Army — Does the Army allow guys named June to join? SMU coach June Jones wants to know.
Pinstripe Bowl, Kansas State vs. Syracuse — Neat concept, playing a football game in Yankee Stadium. And there's the Little Apple/Big Apple thing.
Music City Bowl, North Carolina vs. Tennessee — Some of the best music in history has been made in Tennessee. But some puts people to sleep.
Holiday Bowl, Nebraska vs. Washington — Washington? Really? The Holiday Bowl's proud tradition has taken a hit.
Meineke Bowl, Clemson vs. South Florida — I watch "Animal Planet" some but I've never seen a Tiger-Bull fight. I wonder who would win?
Sun Bowl, Notre Dame vs. Miami — In 1987, this would have been some game. In 2010 it makes me want to pull the shades to keep the Sun Bowl out.
Liberty Bowl, Georgia vs. Central Florida — OK, Central Florida looked like a good team in a losing cause against Kansas State in September. I might give this one a look. Then again....
Chick-fil-A Bowl, South Carolina vs. Florida State — Two teams that had a chance to get into a BCS and blew it on the final weekend of the regular season. Whoopee!
TicketCity Bowl, Northwestern vs. Texas Tech — Tickets for the TicketCity Bowl are easy to get. And will be, right up to game time.
Capital One Bowl, Michigan State vs. Alabama — OK, this is decent. I know what I'll be doing at noon on New Year's Day. Wait, I could be hung over.
Outback Bowl, Florida vs. Penn State — The slogan for this one should be: "The names are better than the game."
Gator Bowl, Michigan vs. Mississippi State — Step right up, this might be the last time you get to watch Rich Rodriguez coach.
Rose Bowl, TCU vs. Wisconsin — ESPN has allotted seven hours for this slugfest. There might be 100 points scored, and that's just by the Badgers.
Fiesta Bowl, Connecticut vs. Oklahoma — The Huskies are out of place in a BCS bowl game. The Big East really produced this season.
Orange Bowl, Stanford vs. Virginia Tech — I love Stanford and can't wait to see the Cardinal in a big bowl game. Maybe next year.
Sugar Bowl, Ohio State vs. Arkansas — I'm staking my reputation on the notion that the Razorbacks are going to win this one. What little reputation I have, that is.
GoDaddy.com Bowl, Miami (Ohio) vs. Middle Tennessee — No. Just no.
Cotton Bowl, Texas A&M vs. LSU — Pretty good matchup, although I'd prefer seeing Oklahoma State here.
BBVA Compass Bowl, Pittsburgh vs. Kentucky — I'd need more than a compass to find this game.
Fight Hunger Bowl, Boston College vs. Nevada — A Wolfpack never gets hungry. Nevada will draw a crowd for this one.
BCS championship, Auburn vs. Oregon — The game everybody wants to see after a 37-game prelude.