The following satirical headlines come from theonion.com:
▪ Defensive Clinton Campaign Releases New ‘Who Are You to Judge Me?’ Ad
▪ Brutal Anti-Cruz Attack Ad Just 30 Seconds of Candidate’s Photo Displayed Without Any Text, Voiceover, Music
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▪ Hundreds of Cuban Refugees Cling to Air Force One on Flight Back to U.S.
▪ Mitch McConnell Has Hands, Vocal Cords Removed to Prevent Self From Holding Hearing on Scalia Replacement
▪ Hillary Clinton Pleasantly Surprised After Finding Old $20,000 Donation Check in Coat Pocket
▪ Nation’s Workload to Be Completed During Timeouts of NCAA Tournament