The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:
▪ Biker-Brawl Suspects Only Slightly Outnumber Republican Candidates
▪ Hillary Clinton Campaign Shuts Down After Blowing Through $2 Billion in First Month
▪ NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Vows to Punish Whoever Responsible for Suspending Tom Brady
▪ Shell Assures Nation Most Arctic Wildlife to Go Extinct Well Before Next Spill
▪ Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans
– Phillip Brownlee
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