Dick Polman: You can’t make this stuff up
12/31/2012 12:00 AM
12/28/2012 5:22 PM
As the year comes to a close, look back with this 2012 election trivia quiz:
1. Which lies did GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney utter repeatedly on his way to defeat?
a. President Obama was trying to “gut” the federal welfare-to-work law.
b. Obama had a “Kenyan, anticolonial worldview.”
c. Obama’s auto bailout was sending auto jobs from Ohio to China.
d. Obama traveled the world on an “apology tour.”
e. Obama engineered “a government takeover of health care.”
f. All except c.
g. All except b.
2. Obama endorsed gay marriage in May because:
a. Human rights protesters on Pennsylvania Avenue were disrupting his sleep.
b. Vice President Joe Biden forced his hand, saying he was fine with it.
c. His re-election strategists told him gay voters were crucial in swing states.
d. Over the protests of his strategists, he summoned the moral courage to lead.
3. How did talk-show host Rush Limbaugh characterize Sandra Fluke, the law student who was barred by House Republicans from testifying that insurance plans should cover birth control?
a. She’s a “prostitute.”
b. “She’s having so much sex, it’s amazing she can still walk.”
c. “She’s a sex-obsessed socialist.”
d. She’s a “slut.”
e. All except b.
f. All except c.
4. In the first presidential debate, a listless Obama said: “There are a lot of points I want to make tonight, but the most important one is …
a. “that I sure wish my White Sox had made the playoffs.”
b. “I just want to wish, Sweetie, you, happy anniversary.”
c. “that it’s great to be here in Hempstead – no, that’s the next one.”
d. “that Gov. Romney and I agree on a lot of the points I will make tonight.”
5. Foster Friess, a rich guy who bankrolled Rick Santorum’s campaign, did his bit to help alienate women voters from the GOP when he said the best contraceptive was:
a. A Lawrence Welk record on the record player.
b. A chastity belt locked around the torso.
c. A Bayer aspirin lodged between the knees.
d. A New Testament clutched in the hands.
6. Name the 2012 memorial service where Obama said: “Out of this darkness, a brighter day will come.”
a. For the five factory workers shot dead in Minneapolis (Sept. 27).
b. For the 12 moviegoers shot dead in Aurora, Colo. (July 20).
c. For the six Sikhs shot dead in Oak Creek, Wis. (Aug. 5).
d. For the 20 schoolchildren shot dead in Newtown, Conn. (Dec. 14).
e. Obama told his speechwriters that he’d never utter such an empty platitude.
7. Poetic justice: Romney was caught on video telling fat-cat donors that 47 percent (fill in the blank) – and his final share of the popular vote was also 47 percent.
a. 47 percent of his wealth was securely sheltered in tax-free offshore accounts.
b. 47 percent of the square footage at his new La Jolla, Calif., manse was reserved for a car elevator.
c. 47 percent of the Hispanic electorate would vote for him if his surname were Hispanic.
d. 47 percent of the American people were too lazy to take responsibility for their own lives.
e. 47 percent of the companies he purchased for Bain Capital have gone under.
8. True or false: Obama’s re-election will usher in a new era of bipartisan comity in Washington, D.C.
ANSWERS: 1, g (the Kenya lie was retailed by Newt Gingrich); 2, b; 3, f; 4, b; 5, c; 6, b; 7, d.
And 8: Oh, please. You know the answer already.
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