The following satirical headlines come from borowitzreport.com and theonion.com:
Fred Phelps, Man Who Forever Stopped March of Gay Rights, Dead at 84
U.S. Freezes Putin's Netflix Account
Crimean Voters Excited to Exercise Democracy for Last Time
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Ukraine Situation Further Confused After Appearance by John Travolta
Obama's Plan to Pay People Enough to Eat Stirs Controversy