Let me begin by saying that it’s not you, it’s me.
This is hard for me to write. Letting go is never easy. You may not have seen this coming; my attachment to you has appeared to grow stronger as has your envelopment in your petty problems. But here it is. Let’s get this over with before I’m no longer able to go on.
I’ve decided to break up with you.
Yes, I said it. It’s over between us. However, I believe this is for the best. Our relationship was a bitter one filled with frustration, miscommunication and many, many meltdowns. I will become a better person for this. I’ll start clean, fresh. It’s blank slates for the both of us from now on, and I intend not to ruin mine.
It isn’t that you’re bad. It’s our combination. I am an emotional thinker, while you are a soulless doer. I feel; you calculate. They say opposites attract, but maybe the attraction is what brought me down. The more time I spent with you, the more detached I became.
You know those songs about being addicted to love? Well, that’s precisely what was wrong in our relationship. I became less social and outgoing (I’m no longer fooled by the title “social media”). I shut myself out from the world and spent my time with you and you only. The fonder I grew of you, the more dependent I became. The more dependent I became, the more you let me down. As much as I love you, you’ve disappointed me far too many times.
Some may be intrigued by your complexity, but I, on the other hand, refuse to try and understand all of your problems. You’re hard-wired to be one of the most difficult things to understand; you are an enigma, a puzzle I really don’t want to work on any longer. Frustration and confusion. That’s all I ever get.
One second I think I’ve figured out how to recover my pictures and the next I find you deleting two other photo albums instead. Your loyalty needs some work, too. You’re lazy and inconsiderate. You crash whenever you want to. Too tired. Too hot. Just need a moment to shut down. Not a bit of effort is put into helping me. I’m always forced to stay up and support you when you get a virus or black out, but when I need you, you’re never there.
I rely on you for my grades and my future, but you are too tired to stay awake for just 15 more minutes so that I can finish my college app essay. In fact, just to spite me, you remain awake up until I get to the very end of the essay then you crash and delete it. You call that reliability? Oh, and don’t get me started on how agonizingly slow you can be. I request just one thing, one small thing, and there you are stalling as usual. Can I not even refresh my email without you freezing and closing everything I’m working on?
Despite all this, you try to charm everyone with your new figure and shining features. You always make it onto Christmas lists. Your allure will no longer deceive me though. I can’t handle your drama a moment longer.
Forget what I said earlier.
It’s not me, it’s you.
P.S: I left your stuff at the junkyard.
The TeenTalk board is made up of high school students who write occasional columns and stories for the features sections. Talah Bakdash attends Wichita Collegiate School. Send her e-mail c/o firstname.lastname@example.org.