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Mommy mantras

BY LORI O'TOOLE BUSELT

The Wichita Eagle

IN ANTICIPATION OF MOTHER'S DAY, READERS SHARE THEIR BELOVED "MOMISMS"

When WichiTalk asked readers to share the quips their mothers always used to say, we heard from dozens of local residents whose mothers professed oft-repeated proverbs.

Some funny, others inspiring, all well-remembered, they're sayings their children now repeat -- and celebrate.

We've taken a cue from the new book "Momisms" by Cathy Hamilton (Andrews McMeel, $5.99) and offer here "Parent-to-English" translations to some of the more creative adages.

To make you smarter

Wichitan Pam Stoner said that she can still hear the many momisms from her late mother, Phyllis Vanderpool.

"I catch myself using them on my kids and even saying them to myself," Stoner wrote in an e-mail.

Among them: "Use your head to save your heels."

Translation: Think about what you are doing, and you might be able to save yourself time and effort.

To teach manners

Haysville resident Glenda West's mother, Tulsa resident Maxine Brock, often said, "Sweep your own porch first."

Translation: Don't criticize. Take care of your own business before you snoop into somebody else's. Making sure your own life is in order is a full-time job, West explained.

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Shawnna Driscoll, a 32-year-old Wichitan, often heard from her mom, Wichitan Michelle Claypool, "Check your attitude at the door."

Translation: I'm not going to put up with your whining, fussing or backtalking.

The phrase has staying power for Driscoll, who heard this after school when she'd return home unhappy with the homework she had or how the day went.

She now says this to her daughter Alexis, who will turn 5 on Mother's Day and who occasionally, Driscoll said, gets bossy and sassy.

For discipline

Nelle Wills, a 92-year-old Augusta resident, remembers her late mother Lulu Dewey telling her, "I'm going to punish you just as sure as God made little green apples."

Translation: Don't push Mom any further.

"I heard it all my life," Wills said. And if she didn't shape up, her mom followed the warning with a spanking.

Looking back, Nells said with a laugh, the saying is pretty cute.

She didn't think so, though, when she was a child.

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Jennifer Gray promised herself that she'd never repeat her mother's momism.

But now the 28-year-old Wichitan scolds her 19-month-old son Tyson with a familiar phrase: "Ice it!"

Translation: Cut it out.

Gray said that her mother, Rose Hill resident Robin Neumann, would snap her fingers and grind her teeth when she said it.

"You knew you were in trouble," Gray said.

To impart worldly advice

For Nicole Epperson, a 19-year-old Fall River, Kan., resident, difficult times have been marked by her mother Susan Epperson's favorite saying: "Nothing very, very good or very, very bad lasts for very, very long, so keep on trying."

Translation: Tomorrow is a new day. Keep your head up.

Nicole Epperson said that her mom shares this remark, which she adapted at least 15 years ago from a TV show, with family -- and even strangers she notices having a bad day.

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When Wichitan Debbi Nicely was young, her mother, Frankfort, Ind., resident Davida Segal, would sew clothing for her.

If Nicely pointed out a detail that wasn't quite right, her mother would tell her, "It'll never be noticed on a galloping horse."

Translation: Don't sweat the small things.

Because she cares

Elizabeth Wharry, a 50-year-old Wichitan, was the youngest of five kids. When she was a teen in the '70s, her Hungarian mother, Eva Quigley, would tell her what she thought of her too-heavy makeup, too-short skirt or too-low neckline and say in her thick accent, "I nag because I care."

Translation: I love you, and I want you to be the best you can be.

"You knew it was a done deal and there was no discussion, no negotiation," said Wharry, whose mother died in 1991.

"I would give my eyeteeth to hear her say 'I nag because I care.' I really miss that," Wharry said.

She now is learning to teach Silver Sneakers, a fitness program for "mature adults" at the YMCA.

She follows reminders to correct their posture and take deep breaths with the momism.

Reach Lori O'Toole Buselt at 316-268-6562 or lbuselt@wichitaeagle.com.

Familiar phrases

Several readers shared popular momisms that you may be familiar with:

• "Two heads are better than one."

• "Many hands make light work."

• "This too shall pass."

• "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

• "Life isn't fair."

• "Never put all of your eggs in one basket."

• "I have to love you, but I don't have to like you."

More momisms

Check out additional momisms posted by readers on our WichiTalk blog at http://blogs.kansas.com/wichitalk/.

While you're there, tell us what your mom always said to invigorate, comfort or scold you.