‘Friending’ etiquette for the dating scene

09/19/2013 12:00 AM

08/08/2014 10:18 AM

Now that Facebook has taken over the world, it’s hard to know the appropriate “friending” etiquette as it relates to the dating scene. I get this question all the time – “Should I friend someone after the first date if it went well?” The short and sweet of it is ... no no no.

When it comes to post-date protocol, there are some choices to make for contacting your date again. Let’s break them down into four categories:

1. Texting

2. Facebook

3. Physical stuff

4. Second date and beyond

Let’s start with texting:

Who doesn’t like a nice, playful text every now and then? If you had a nice time on the date (men and women), it is perfectly acceptable to send a text that night or the next day saying, “Thanks again – I had a great time.” Assuming your date did too, it’ll put a smile on his or her face. Extra points.

Now onto the big one – Facebook:

Unless you’re already friends, do not friend your date on Facebook after the first time out together. The last thing you want is to come home from a great date and see all of his pictures with other women or her pictures with other men. No good can come of that. There’s something to be said for leaving some mystery.

Moving on to the physical stuff:

Whether or not to have that first date kiss is up to you. I say if you’re feeling it, go for it, but that’s a personal choice. Now, I know this next part may make me seem like an old fuddy-duddy, but under no circumstances should there be any sex on the first date. If you do that, your whole relationship will be based on the physical aspects, and that doesn’t lead to a solid foundation.

Finally, let’s discuss the second date and beyond:

We’re not 22 anymore. If you had a good time and want to go out again, it’s OK to (gasp) tell him/her. No one’s getting any younger, so do what makes you happy. No need to wait three days to make the call. (And please call rather than text. An e-mail is OK, but a call is better.) Just don’t get so excited that you see each other every night of the week the first week and burn the relationship out too quickly. Again, there’s something to be said for leaving some mystery.

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