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Greensburg tornado survivor Bunny Giles learns to go on after her losses

BY DEB GRUVER

The Wichita Eagle

PRATT - A year later, Bunny Giles' face still bears a bruise.

It's small but stubborn, on her right cheek. She tries to cover it with makeup. But every day, she says, the bruise shows up, a reminder.

Bunny is bruised in many ways from losing her husband of almost 64 years in a tornado almost a year ago.

Doctors tell her the bruise on her face might not go away.

And neither might the bad dreams she has about losing Alex.

She used to have them every night. Now they come and go.

For that she is grateful.

Bunny and Alex took shelter in the basement of their Hopewell home the night of May 4, when an EF-5 twister leveled most of nearby Greensburg. A tornado that spun off from the same supercell swept up her family's farm in Pratt County.

In the past year, Bunny, 83, has been learning, slowly, how to go on without Alex.

"You're just hanging on," she said.

Bunny tried to think of adjectives that would describe her: "vulnerable," "indecisive" and "apprehensive" were three.

But at the same time, she seems to be doing better, getting more accustomed to her living situation, opening up more to therapists about how she's feeling.

"She still has some days," says her son, Greg Giles.

He found his parents that Friday night in May, his mother covered by a tree that fell into the basement.

"Every Friday night, it's kind of a struggle for her."

Lonely feelings

Bunny delicately handles a new bracelet, thumbing the purple beads.

The lightest beads -- the ones that aren't glossy like the others -- are made of dried and crushed orchids from Alex's funeral.

Her daughter Vicki Luth, who lives in Illinois, had it made for her. Other women and girls in the family wear beads made of different flowers that honored Alex.

The bracelet has a toggle clasp, which is easy to manipulate. She still has trouble putting her necklaces on by herself.

"Alex always did that for me," she says. "You think about all the things you did for each other."

Pictures of Alex are displayed on a table in her apartment. The tornado didn't leave much in the way of family photo albums.

Bunny was sure one night she saw Alex by her bedside."I could just see him in his Van Heusen navy blue silk pajamas," she said.

She sleeps on the right side of her full-size bed because it butts up to the wall, which makes her feel more secure and less lonely.

'We'll make it'

Bunny tries to fill her time by volunteering at Skyline School, which three of her grandchildren attend.

She plays pitch on some afternoons. She goes to her grandchildren's activities. That can be bittersweet.

"Alex and I always went together, and it really gets to me," she says. "He was such a supportive grandfather."

Greg Giles would have liked to have marked the first anniversary of his father's death by having some kind of party-like celebration, maybe a cookout, this weekend.

"We need to get happy and go on," Bunny says her son told her.

But it's planting time at the farm, something Greg always did with his father's help.

This year has been one of firsts for Greg, too. The first time he planted circles without his dad. "It will never be the same," Bunny says, "but we'll make it."

Reach Deb Gruver at 316-268-6400 or dgruver@wichitaeagle.com.