Announcing your engagement should be a beautiful moment, but what's a bride to do when the responses are rude? Read on for a list of courteous comebacks to eight of the most common offenses; plus, what you wish you could say, but (hopefully) won't.
1. So ... when's the date?
Think: Really, Debbie Downer? You couldn't wait a week or two to ask that?
Say: "For now, we're focusing on enjoying being engaged. The wedding planning madness can wait." Engagement is special. Spread the word that you're savoring it.
2. Can I try on your engagement ring?
Think: This ring is my most prized possession. To try it on, you'll have to murder me and pry it off of my cold, dead finger.
Say: "I'm kind of in the no-taking-it-off-under-any-circumstances phase right now. Know what I mean?" Truth is, your romantic attachment to your ring is completely understandable. So it's cool to cop to being a little obsessed.
3. What are the stats on that bling?
Think: It weighs none-of-your-business carats, and cost you-have-no-manners dollars.
Say: "All I know is that I love it." Will anyone buy you not knowing the size of your own diamond? Probably not. Does it matter? No. What's important is that you've managed to sidestep the question without shaming anyone. Congrats!
4. So ... you're sure then?
Think: What the ... WHAT? Do you love the taste of your own foot?
Say: "Yes, I'm sure. I've never been happier." Breathe, smile, and walk away. Chances are, the person who asked this has no idea how rude it sounded.
5. Another one bites the dust/my condolences/when's the wake?
Think: Yeah, bummer that my dream of becoming a spinster with a cat collection will never be realized.
Say: "Ha, ha, very funny. Oh, and original." Treat this like the tired joke it is. Roll your eyes; then, let it roll right off your back.
6. Is it a shotgun wedding/will it be a white wedding?
Say: "Wow. Just ... wow." Comments this tacky don't deserve a serious comeback.
7. OMG! I'm posting it on Facebook right now with my iPhone.
Think: OMG! Do, and I'll un-friend you (on and off Facebook) so fast you'll have cyber whiplash.
Say: "Please don't. I was really looking forward to telling my friends and family myself." Chances are, your update-addicted friend simply hadn't thought it through. So, there's no harm in spelling it out.
8. What a coincidence! I just eloped/am pregnant/bought a house/won the lottery.
Think: Dang it, Toppy McTopperson. Why won't you let me have my moment?
Say: "Wow. What a great time in our lives. We're both so lucky!" Once you say it aloud, you'll probably realize you mean it. After all, announcing your engagement isn't really about attention. It's about sharing your joy with family and friends.