We first started hearing about “meggings” late last year. Yes, leggings for men.
Seems some well-known designers thought Robin Hood was on the right track, and because skinny jeans weren’t nearly skinny enough, they narrowed the silhouette until they were officially leggings.
We’re in Kansas, and while I had seen a few men wearing them the last time I was in New York, I decided I wouldn’t write about this trend until I saw a guy wearing meggings right here in River City.
There he was, a tall, very thin man wearing a brown sweater and camouflage leggings. If he thought no one could see him in camo, he was wrong. Sadly.
But more distressing was that his sweater needed to be longer. His very narrow camo-covered rear end was exposed, which means, of course, that from the front, he looked like a male ballet dancer gone bad.
He was at the mall, and I wasn’t the only one taking notice. One portly fellow said loudly, “Did that guy forget his pants?”
Those ARE his pants, which raises the question: What do you wear under them? As in underwear. Jockey shorts would get all bunched up, and tighty whities would give a guy terribly visible panty lines. I have no idea if they make thong underwear for men. I don’t want to know, and I’m sorry if you’re eating breakfast while reading this.
I’ve read several articles and fashion blogs about meggings and was surprised to see some of the designers who decided to put them in their fall collections. Givenchy, for example. And they’re a hot item in London. Just think how happy Boy George is about that.
Justin Bieber has worn them; so has Russell Brand. All right, guys, if you’re considering getting some meggings, take a good, honest look in the mirror. If you’ve got a big tummy or skinny legs with knobby knees, this is not a look for you. And, guys, even though you usually don’t have to worry how big your derriere is, in Meggings, you have to take note. Just because the Lycra keeps the junk in your trunk from shaking doesn’t mean it’s looking good. And you never know when you’ll have to bend over. I saw a woman in Dillons wearing a pair of bright orange tights. She bent over to get a box of cereal from the bottom shelf, and I thought the moon was coming up over the Wheaties.
Are meggings better than seeing guys wearing pants so baggy and so low they could drop at any moment? Surely the super-tight meggings won’t catch on the way the hip-hop pants did.
I don’t think so. Know why? Pockets. Meggings don’t have pockets.
Where does a guy put his phone? His car keys? His billfold?
Oh, of course. In his man purse.