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In what ways are you grateful for your spouse?

  • McClatchy-Tribune
  • Published Wednesday, Nov. 21, 2012, at 8:47 p.m.

In this season of Thanksgiving and gratitude, have you ever considered what it would be like to show gratitude for your partner?

Interesting territory, huh?

Think about it though. One of the easiest and most damaging things to do in a relationship is to take your partner for granted, right? So why not counteract, or even prevent this by considering what you could be thankful for about your partner?

So perhaps we should start with making a list. Start off by simply brainstorming, without editing, a list of things you are grateful for about your partner.

If you cannot think of a single thing about your partner to be grateful for, then I recommend two things:

1. If you absolutely had to think of something to be grateful for, what would that thing or those things be?

2. You might want to consider finding a good relationship coach with whom to chat a bit.

OK, back to the main point. Make a list of things about which you are grateful to your spouse. These could be big things or little things, old things or new things, etc.

Now one you have made your list, what in the world do you do with it? Well, here are two powerful ideas, the second a little more risky than the first:

1. Keep this list to yourself, and keep it handy. Pull it out on a regular basis to remind you of all the good things about your partner. This is a great way to beat back the “taking for granted monster.”

2. Share the list with your partner…ACK! Really? Yes, really. Might take some guts, so put on your big-kid pants and do it. Reports from those who have tried this have included mentions of a very nice evening.

You can thank us later.

Jeff Herring is a former marriage and family therapist and relationship coach. Maritza Parra is a coach who teaches entrepreneurs how to create products.

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