Print edition: 
Sometimes it seems like baby showers are all about stuff. A chance to celebrate a new life, of course, but also an opportunity for a mom-to-be to collect the many things a baby needs — stroller, bouncy seat, mobile, onesies, washcloths, and on and on ... and on.
So what happens when the new parents already have closets and attics and basements crammed with baby gear? When it comes to second or third (or fourth or fifth) babies, a shower isn't quite the same. But that isn't stopping women from throwing showers for their friends and family members who are expecting babies beyond their first. They're just tweaking the celebrations a bit to make them fit the circumstances.
"Chances are, you don't need a gargantuan amount of stuff (after the first child)," says Carley Roney, editor in chief of TheBump.com, a site for expectant moms. "But people are starting to understand that there are alternatives."
When Seanny Ma Lieu's best friend, Kim, was pregnant with her second son, Lieu wanted to throw a party. She said she wasn't sure of the etiquette on throwing showers for subsequent babies, but after a little online research, she discovered that many people referred to second showers as "sprinkles." She loved the idea so much that she made "sprinkles" the theme of the party, putting sprinkles on everything from doughnuts to ice cream and sending guests home with salt shakers filled with candy.
"I was glad to see it was OK to throw a second shower even if the baby was going to be of the same sex," says Lieu, a California-based graphic designer.
Of course, not everyone agrees that it's acceptable to shower a mother after her first child. When TheBump.com posted an informal poll asking if moms on the site had a shower for a second or third child, 60 percent of respondents said they hadn't. And the accompanying comments made it clear that not everyone is on board with the concept of a second (or third or fourth) baby shower.
"Don't you feel the teeniest bit guilty about asking your friends and family for gifts so many times?" posted one user. "Most people will give you gifts when the baby is born anyway, but to arrange for a gift-giving event so often would be embarrassing to me."
But Roney points out that showers don't have to be about the gifts. Not to mention the fact that she says it's not good form to throw a shower for yourself, no matter how many children you have.
"To instigate any of it yourself is rude, whether it's your first or second baby," Roney said. "Hosting your own shower is unacceptable."
"I think most people now are just trying to find an excuse to throw a party," says Elizabeth Demers, the Utah-based founder and creative director of the year-old BumpSmitten.com, which spotlights baby showers and other baby-related content.
Demers sees a lot of showers, submitted by hostesses or documented on blogs. She says subsequent showers tend to be "very intimate," just family and friends.
"I've seen the bigger ones and I think it's insane," she said. "I think the trend is smaller, intimate."
And while some people still frown on showers for babies after the first, many hostesses are finding ways to get around the appearance of asking for more stuff.
"We didn't ask guests to bring gifts," Lieu said of the shower she hosted. "Since it was a second shower, we did feel odd to ask for gifts." But she notes that many guests brought gifts — mostly onesies and basics that every newborn needs.
Demers and Roney said they've seen second showers that focus on pampering the mother — giving her a spa gift certificate, or inviting a pedicurist to treat a group of friends.
Roney said some parties include traditions from other cultures, like applying henna to the mom's belly, or celebrating a Navajo fertility rite. She's heard of guests bringing beads to string into a necklace for the mother-to-be, or making prayer flags to decorate the family's home.
Some showers have a charity element, Demers said. Guests might bring a gift for a mother in need, instead of the guest of honor.
But gifts don't have to be totally absent from a second or third baby shower. The fact is, many people like to buy gifts for babies, and will bring one even if they're urged not to. Some hostesses are finding ways to make gifts a small part of the affair, instead of the main event.
"One of my friends did a shower where you were only allowed to go to a secondhand store" to buy gifts, Demers said.
Roney suggests asking guests to bring "baby basics" that all newborns and new mothers need, and that don't last from child to child — wipes, diapers, burp cloths, bibs or nursing supplies.
If the idea of an all-girls shower seems awkward the second or third time around, Roney suggests throwing a party that doesn't feel like a shower at all. Including husbands and kids makes it just like any other casual party.
"Make it a last blast before the couple goes 'under the radar' with a newborn," she said.
Whether it's a cupcakes-and-lemonade afternoon affair or a burgers-on-the-grill weekend bash, celebrating a baby is still a great excuse for a party.
"I like that there could be a shower even for a second child, even if it's just for a small group of people," Lieu said. "It's a nice way to honor the mom, and a nice little party for her before she has another baby."
Baby Bashes
Want to celebrate a baby? Here are some ideas that work for the second baby and beyond:
Stock mom's freezer
Frozen casseroles, baked goods or even gift certificates to local takeout joints will make life easier in the first weeks after the baby arrives.
Build baby's library
Guests can bring books for the baby, focusing especially on board books that are often too chewed-on and shredded for a second child to enjoy. Provide labels or bookplates so guests can write a note to the baby and parents.
Pamper mom — and more
Book a nail technician or massage therapist to treat a small group to pedicures or shoulder massages. (Especially fun if the other guests are moms in need of a little indulgence!)
Create keepsakes
Provide guests with supplies to decorate onesies or burp cloths. Take photos of guests and create a scrapbook for the baby with messages from friends and family. Ask everyone to write notes to the baby for him or her to open on milestone birthdays. Or invite guests to make their mark in the nursery — have them sign or decorate the inside of the closet door, for example.
