If you haven't seen the Slavery 3.0 program yet, the new application will amaze you.
Gangs have streamlined the design since the 1.0 version with its whips, chains and overpacked ships. It also surpasses the 2.0, sharecropping version, which featured clever accounting and fuzzy math.
This version, also known as "gang culture," operates more efficiently. No embarrassing three-fifths compromises or U.S. Supreme Court references to Dred Scott. You get the psychological, spiritual, social and physical devastation, without the worrisome guilt and direct-control bondage. No muss, no fuss. Just sit back and watch this program work.
Slavery 3.0 organizes subjects into warring factions leading primarily to incarceration. Felonies lock the incarcerated out of the economy, so they work for free as more morally tolerant captives of the multiplatform, for-profit, prison industrial complex.
Franchising offers endless opportunities. Most gang culture growth in the past 20 years gained traction in small-to-midsize markets.
Karen Countryman-Roswurm, a doctoral student who works with the sexually exploited, says the program spawned another form of slavery. Countryman-Roswurm and police say gangs snatch children, hook them on drugs and force them into Internet porn and sex slavery.
Unlike the mortgage bubble, this one won't burst.
We have more than 2 million people in prison, about 46 percent of them African-Americans. How many sons or nephews have they placed on the prison-conveyor belt on their way there?
Consider the growth potential. The black population accounts for 12 percent of the U.S. population. But only a sliver of that percentage accounts for that 46 percent after controlling for the young, the old and the law-abiding.
Slavery 3.0 has inventory to burn.
The Pied Piper entertainment industry offers around-the-clock tech support and free advertising. It reinforces gang culture's core value of hedonism. Vulnerable children sleepwalk toward this program like sagging-jeaned zombies.
Gang culture will outperform any other investment for decades.
Ron Matson, chairman of Wichita State University's sociology department, says gang culture indicts society's unwillingness to allow swaths of its culture to fully participate.
"When we all have access to a legitimate economy that works well for everyone, there will be less need for gangs to solve problems relating to poverty, undereducation and discrimination," Matson said.
Don't count on this anytime soon, though. The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said only last year that homicide represented the leading cause of death for African-American Kansans ages 10 to 24.
That is Slavery 3.0's genius. It gets its target audience to participate in its own destruction.
So saddle up, entrepreneurs, for the gold-tooth gold rush.
And don't worry about your investments running off. They punish their own for upward aspirations. They call it "acting white."
You can find Slavery 3.0 at convenient, street-corner locations near you.
Supplies seem unlimited.