Print edition: 
KANSAS CITY, Mo. —The nation's most uncreative, redundant and dully written television show didn't make the air on Sunday.
But did you hear what happened? There was action, drama, anger, a double-crossing or two, a hapless grand plan that backfired in the end, and a surprise character that shouldn't be forgotten any time soon.
There wasn't much of an ending, though. An announced crowd of 53,315 saw it and groaned. If you stayed home to break in a new pair of sweatpants or study the mysteries of the yak, know that you've seen Arrowhead Stadium's production before. The Chiefs lost in dramatic, pitiful and historically bad fashion — and again challenged the boundaries of hitting bottom.
Kansas City's first television blackout in nearly two decades came at a good time if you consider the Chiefs a group of protagonists, difficult as that is becoming. Bungling protagonists, maybe, and there's some charm in that. But on the day the cameras went off at Arrowhead, the Cleveland Browns won 41-34. The best bit of luck the Chiefs could hope for was that no one was watching.
"Probably for the best," free safety Jon McGraw said.
Todd Haley, the host of this mess, tried to summarize afterward. Lots of dropped passes, an awful defense, a wasted week of planning to stop kick returner Josh Cribbs, and the things that only the Chiefs seem to do.
"Our guys going one way," the coach said. "The wrong way, too much of the time."
Picture this from a game without moving pictures: Jerome Harrison, a reserve running back who graduated high school to attend Pasadena City College, ran to his left and then cut to the right — and, like synchronized swimmers, three Chiefs defenders dove toward Harrison and missed. He didn't stop for 71 yards.
In all, the kid left Arrowhead with 286 rushing yards, a number so high that only two other NFL rushers have done better in a game. Adrian Peterson. Jamal Lewis. Jerome Harrison. And as long as we're talking history, Harrison passed Jim Brown's 48-year-old single-game franchise record of 237 rushing yards, which has stood since the year Maris passed Ruth.
Like Dallas wide receiver Miles Austin and San Diego wideout Vincent Jackson before Harrison, the Chiefs made a little-known player into a temporary superstar. Who needs originality when Kansas City has found such a proven way to lose?
"There's some teams that can get away with it," Haley said. "But we can't."
It was invisible to everyone but the devoted or disturbed, but the humor came in the aftermath. Wide receiver Mark Bradley compared the Chiefs to the Pittsburgh Steelers, insisting that the Browns hung around just long enough to topple a superior team.
"They found a way to win," he said.
Several, actually. Harrison was terrific, but Cribbs was outstanding. He returned two kickoffs for touchdowns, until the Chiefs finally realized they shouldn't kick the ball to him, and that pushed him to his own NFL record. Cribbs has eight career kick returns for touchdowns, and that's two more than anybody else in league history. The Chiefs missed three tackles on the first one and didn't touch him on the second. Kansas City saw Cribbs coming. They just couldn't do anything about him, and because of that, no one will ever remember that Browns quarterback Brady Quinn had a quarterback rating of 27.7 and passed for 66 yards.
"I can't imagine anything any more frustrating," McGraw said. "You know what they're going to do, and they basically tell you what they're going to do. And they go out and they do it, and you can't stop it."
Did you hear about this part? The Chiefs' receivers can't catch. Their head coach used to coach receivers when he was an assistant and takes some credit for the development of Arizona superstar Larry Fitzgerald. But now that he's with Kansas City, all he has is Bradley, Dwayne Bowe, tight end Jake O'Connell and the rest of the guys who combined for eight dropped passes Sunday.
Quarterback Matt Cassel had his most encouraging performance in weeks, but the guy couldn't complete his passes because his costars failed him. He yelled during one of his trips toward the sideline, slamming his helmet after three consecutive drops.
"We're working at this, believe it or not," Haley said.
It's not easy to believe. Neither is the idea that improvement is actually happening. The Chiefs are 3-11, and barring a late-season twist, they'll finish 3-13.
Yes, we've seen this episode before. You didn't miss anything. Other than perhaps the Chiefs' worst performance of the season, one bad enough that even Haley is beginning to wonder if Kansas City's defense is improving.
"I'll hold back saying something that I'll regret," he said.
Not that he needed to say anything. We know how this one ends.
CleKC
First downs2022
Total Net Yards417491
Rushes-yards49-35130-168
Passing66323
Punt Returns5-400-0
Kickoff Returns7-2788-147
Interceptions Ret. 0-02-31
Comp-Att-Int10-18-222-40-0
Sacked-Yards Lost0-01-8
Punts2-33.06-45.7
Fumbles-Lost1-12-1
Penalties-Yards3-203-34
Time of Possession34:2525:35
Cleveland1010714—41 Kansas City321010—34
First Quarter
Cle—FG Dawson 47, 10:13.
KC—FG Succop 30, 4:12.
Cle—Cribbs 100 kickoff return (Dawson kick), 3:56.
Second Quarter
Cle—FG Dawson 30, 12:32.
KC—Chambers 9 pass from Cassel (Succop kick), 10:04.
KC—Charles 47 run (Succop kick), 4:10.
KC—Studebaker fumble recovery in end zone (Succop kick), 2:44.
Cle—Cribbs 103 kickoff return (Dawson kick), 2:31.
Third Quarter
Cle—J.Harrison 71 run (Dawson kick), 13:16.
Fourth Quarter
Cle—J.Harrison 8 run (Dawson kick), 12:09.
KC—FG Succop 27, 8:08.
KC—Bradley 12 pass from Cassel (Succop kick), 2:20.
Cle—J.Harrison 28 run (Dawson kick), :44.
A—53,315.
Individual Statistics
Rushing—Cleveland, J.Harrison 34-286, Quinn 4-39, Jennings 7-18, Cribbs 3-8, Hodges 1-0. Kansas City, Charles 25-154, Cassel 2-10, Castille 2-3, J.Williams 1-1.
Passing—Cleveland, Quinn 10-17-2-66, Cribbs 0-1-0-0. Kansas City, Cassel 22-40-0-331.
Receiving—Cleveland, Stuckey 5-41, J.Harrison 2-12, Moore 1-7, Cribbs 1-3, Massaquoi 1-3. Kansas City, Chambers 5-114, Cottam 4-62, Bowe 4-56, Bradley 3-52, Pope 3-23, Charles 2-16, Cox 1-8.
Missed Field Goals—Cleveland, Dawson 52.
