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Here is a guy with a secret identity who operates out of the North Pole in a Fortress of Solitude. He's a philanthropist with a tricked-out Santa-mobile sleigh, and he appears in the darkness of night. He works with a fellowship of elves, is immortal and has a white beard to rival Dumbledore's. He is identifiable by a signature catchphrase, outfit and drink, and looks after the innocent while watching the naughty.
Basically, Santa is Superman, Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne, Gandalf the White, James Bond, Dr. Who and James T. Kirk all rolled into one. But you, too, can be Santa through the geeky presents you give.
So to assist you in being the best Pop Pere Noel you can be, the following is a gift guide for every geek on your list.
Aspiring vigilantes
"The Valley of Fear" by A.C. Doyle
This book by A.C. Doyle, as in Arthur Conan Doyle, as in the creator of Sherlock Holmes, was originally published in 1915 as the last novel starring the great detective. Thankfully new life has been breathed into this Holmes tale with a pulpy, gritty re-release that only publisher Hard Case Crime could pull off.
Loosely based on the true story of an agent who infiltrated the Molly Maguires in the 1870s, the story is nearly two complete detective stories with much of the plot taking place in America. It's an action ride of a book that makes for a perfect lead-in to the new Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey Jr. as the gumshoe.
"Batman: Cacophony" by Kevin Smith
The director of "Clerks," "Mallrats" and the more-recent "Zak and Miri Make a Porno," is a well-documented fanboy, so he's a natural fit for writing duties on this Batman vs. Joker comic. Although the storyline involves Onomatopoeia, a super hero serial killer who only speaks in sounds, it's really an excuse for Smith to explore the relationship between Bats and his big bad.
The dialogue is clearly Smithian and spiked with sarcasm and pop-culture references — although the Caped Crusader is chattier than normal. The story reads like Smith had a great time writing it, and the final scene between the two main characters makes the whole book worth the price of admission. At amazon.com or book stores.
Zombie heads
"Star Wars: Death Troopers" by Joe Schreiber
Star Wars and zombies — Need I say more? This novel is the goriest thing to happen to Star Wars, which says a lot considering the limbs, heads and occasional torsos cut off in the movies alone. The plot is set sometime before "Episode IV: A New Hope" and begins on an Imperial prison barge that encounters a seemingly deserted Star Destroyer.
Schreiber has done a fine job crafting a bloody-good horror tale in a recognizable Star Wars universe. When the undead make their appearance, there are no holds (or bites) barred, and the two big surprises Schreiber delivers halfway through the book are geektastic. Book stores, amazon.com.
Zombieland hat and bag
One of the first steps to surviving the zombie apocalypse is looking like you know what you're doing so other survivors decide you would be a waste as brain-eater bait. This set from The Real Deal goes a long way toward helping you achieve the appearance of a weathered cowboy with good aim.
Made in Brazil from recycled cargo truck canvas tarps, each of these hats and bags have a unique personality but all of them look like they have survived several adventures on the Amazon. Some are delivered with scratches, patches or writing on them, and the color varies from item to item.
The Recife duffel bag is incredibly spacious and durable enough to withstand the indelicate treatment from undead airline baggage handlers. The hat can be molded into several styles, including the one preferred by Woody Harrelson's character Tallahassee from "Zombieland," but it's up to you to decide which suits you as the new leader of the survivors. At www.realdealbrazil.com, $130 for the hat and bag set.
Forward thinkers
"Terminator 2: Judgment Day" (Skynet Edition) Blu-ray
The time travel story and special effects blew audiences away in 1991, and it continues to do so 18 years later. Not only is T2 one of the best sequels and action movies ever made, it's also the kind of movie that makes a Blu-ray player worth having. The T-1000 liquid metal effects still look as good as new, and the Skynet Edition includes the multiple versions of the movie released over the years.
Flux Capacitor (replica)
Because of the achievements of scientist Dr. Emmett Brown, and his revolutionary work within the field of time travel, you too can travel backward or forward in the time stream to ensure your parents meet and fall in love, check up on your future kids or just get into a gunfight in the Old West.
That's right, you can now have your own personal Flux Capacitor. The full-scale metal Capacitor powers up with a simple switch, and the lighted power source can be adjusted appropriately. You'll need 1.21 gigawatts to power time travel, but only three AA batteries to power the lights.
It's not cheap to mess with the space-time continuum. Plutonium and DeLorean sold separately. At www.thinkgeek.com, $250.
Inner children
"Fraggle Rock: Complete Series Collection" DVD set
Doozers, Gorgs and Fraggles rejoice, chow down on a radish and even dance your cares away, because the touchy-feely hippy Muppets show from the 80s is collected on this new DVD set. With all 96 episodes and loads of extras, the complete "Fraggle Rock" is remarkably frank with its moral lessons, and views like a fuzzy predecessor of "The Real World." Online at amazon.com or book stores, estimated retail $103.
Tim Burton's Tragic Toys for Girls and Boys
Tim Burtons line of toys makes it into the inner child category because sometimes, it's no fun being a kid. Launched by Dark Horse to coincide with the filmmaker's career retrospective at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City, the characters in the four sets of PVC toys all come from his book of poetry, "The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories."
In classic Burton fashion, children are represented as ostracized freaks, such as Stain Boy, Toxic Boy, Junk Girl and The Pin Cushion Queen. It is a good bet that when we were children, we have all felt like Jimmy, The Hideous Penguin Boy at some point or other, and the memories from that time stick with us. So give these gift as a way of saying, "Hey, I like you even though you used to feel like an oyster boy." At www.momastore.org for $15 a set.
Geek girls
Pon Farr perfume
Ladies, do you wish you could drive a man crazy with desire? Well, even if you don't, you probably wouldn't mind smelling nice enough to cause Pon Farr, the blood fever experienced by Mr. Spock and all Vulcans. Yes, this Star Trek-themed perfume has light, clean top notes of citrus, blackcurrant, lotus blossoms and water lily with base notes from sandalwood, peach, and mulberry. But no matter what it smells like, you can be guaranteed the results will be passionately illogical. At www.thinkgeek.com for $30.
"Scene It? Twilight," Nintendo Wii
Although not a gift for casual fans, Twi-hards will devour this Wii trivia game by Konami about the teen vampire movie. With clips from the movie, puzzles and more than 500 multiple choice questions, the game accommodates up to four players who play as characters from the film.
The challenges utilize the Wii controllers nicely, and the game expands the Twilight franchise enough to say, when you can live forever, you live for the Wii. Retails for about $50 in toy departments and at amazon.com.
Horrorprops
The Wolfman medallion replica
You know how it goes: You visit home, get frustrated with your family, head out for a walk and get attacked by a werewolf. It has happened to many of us, but instead of simply giving up and becoming a half-naked howling mad man of the night, take a cue from Larry Talbot and try out this protective medallion.
A metal, two-sided replica from "The Wolfman," the upcoming monster re-make starring Benicio Del Toro, this is a cool gift worth grabbing before the next full moon. About $14 at www.mezcotoyz.com.
Freddy Krueger stylized action figure
One, two, Freddy's coming for you again. Although Freddy never really left us, and will always live on in our dreams, the serial killer with a razor-sharp wit (and claws) is about to make the A-list again with 2010s re-make of "A Nightmare on Elm Street."
To prepare for his return to film, Mezco Toys has given the dream master a stylized makeover with this articulated 9-inch figure. Along with a ghoulish expression and removable hat and sweater, Freddy comes with the tongue phone and an Elm Street sign. This little guy is a great gift for horror fans, or people who don't sleep much. About $24 at www.tfaw.com.
Sci-fi fanboys
"Torchwood: Children of Earth" Blu-ray
For sci-fi fans who prefer their adventures on-demand in high-def comes this latest installment from the BBCs "Dr. Who" spinoff. The show, about a team of alien investigators who battle a constant threat of invasion, "Torchwood" is a mature and dark series within the genre.
This five-part miniseries, which aired in America last July, puts the battered team on the wrong side of the law with the government pursuing them while the children of Earth are attacked by extraterrestrials. This is a mythology-heavy set, but still easily digestible by new and established fans of the show. About $28 at Target or www.target.com.
