Kansas.com: Family

Statuory rape charge against boyfriend led to mom's murder

Peter Hecht — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:44 CST

It was a day for lurid details Tuesday as authorities in El Dorado County began a multi-day hearing to determine if a 14-year-old El Dorado Hills girl should stand trial as an adult in the slaying of her mother, Joanne M. Witt, 47.

Tylar Marie Witt and her boyfriend, Steven Paul Colver, 19, are charged with killing Joanne Witt on June 11 or 12 after the mother filed a statutory rape report against Colver and kicked him out of her house.

Testimony by investigators Tuesday depicted a tumultuous mother-daughter relationship. The saga ended, authorities allege, with the mother's stabbing death at the hands of Colver, and the teen lovers fleeing toward San Francisco with plans to carry out a suicide pact.

Artful jewelry: Craft and wear your own

CATHERINE MALLETTE — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

Artful Jewelry: Craft and Wear Your Own Masterpieces

By Jo Packham

Chronicle Books, $19.99

Smarter candles: No match needed

JUDY HEVRDEJS — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 02:10 CST

Candles illuminate our holidays and brighten the season's longer nights, bringing a cozy glow into our homes. We love 'em - in all shapes, sizes and scents.

What we don't love? The drips on tablecloths, sooty residue, bits of wax stuck inside votive glasses and candleholders as well as the fire-safety issue.

A better solution may be battery-powered candles with flickering flames, with the flames courtesy of LED lights. The National Fire Protection Association, a Massachusetts-based nonprofit, recommends them for lighting carved Halloween pumpkins.

Dirty Laundry: After being force-fed with self-esteem, students get a taste of reality

AISHA SULTAN — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

A friend knew his college-age daughter's generation was screwed when he attended her fifth-grade graduation.

The entire class sang a song about how special and great they were for matriculating from elementary school.

"Seriously?" he wondered. "You think you're so great for graduating fifth grade?"

Frumpy Middle-Aged Mom: I hate emergency rooms

MARLA JO FISHER — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:25 CST

Recently, for unexplained reasons, Curly Girl decided to put a plastic BB in her ear.

Surprise! It got stuck. She came running over, demanding to go to the hospital.

It was in there too tightly for her to get out, but still visible.

Leaving the kitchen table

PAMELA — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

This is a big year for our family. My daughter just turned 16 and my son 13. Momentous birthdays both, but the biggest news in my house is that I am not perpetually waiting at the kitchen table at 3:30 anymore after school. I have worked from home for all of my children's lives. This year I began to work out of the house part of two days per week, and am taking a class one night. The adjustment has been easy for me, not so for them.

My first week at work my daughter was exasperated that she couldn't reach me at 3:20 because I was on the subway. I got off the train to frantic messages from my daughter and husband looking for me-and I was only unavailable for a 20 minute subway ride. Talk about feeling needed. Leaving for my class on Monday night one of my kids invariable says, "you are never home anymore". I tell them I am sorry and that I promise to help with studying, editing or watching "Gossip Girl" when I return.

But truthfully, after spending 16 years at the kitchen table, I am enjoying my new part-time career working out of the house teaching classes, giving seminars and helping women with their own career transitions. I love being a mom, and still enjoy the after school snack time when I am home, but on the days that I am not, I know my kids are fine and I hope that all of the time I have given them is banked somewhere in their brains. It is nice to feel needed, but they are more than capable of making their own snacks after school and getting started on homework without me.

Genius' sperm bank child: Lisa Zerr's daughter is smart and ambitious, but she wants to know what drives the father

CANDICE SHIH — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:25 CST

At the Genius Sperm Bank, it wasn't just the men who were screened for intelligence.

The Escondido, Calif.-based reproductive center, officially named The Repository for Germinal Choice, looked hard at its female clientele too. The women (unlike the donors) had to be married. And, like the men, the women had to score well on IQ tests.

After all, the people running the clinic which helped create more than 200 babies during a 19-year run that started in 1980 believed letting a mother with an average IQ create a child with a high-IQ father would miss the whole point.

Namberry: Children's book names from Aidan to Zoe

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

While browsing through a recent issue of The New Yorker magazine, I came across an article about the current generation of picture books and their bratty protagonists. It was illustrated by an image from a book called "Finn Throws a Fit." Aha, I thought, so juvenile authors are on top of current naming trends. This impelled me to go running (figuratively) to my local Borders to seek further evidence.

One difference I noticed immediately was that there were more little human protagonists and fewer of the porcine (excluding Olivia), feline, canine, bovine, etc persuasion than there were in the past, and there were, as the article pointed out, a lot more angry children populating the pages, and a lot more preoccupation with poop and farts.

In terms of names, I was surprised to see that there was a book title containing almost every currently popular choice - almost as many as there are on the personalized pencils in the airport - a big upswing from the past. Here are some titles all released since the turn of the century - and they're just the tip of the iceberg:

Miss Lori says sorry' doesn't cut it on the soccer field, or in life

MISS LORI — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

In addition to my public work as an entertainer, I am a mom, an athlete, and, very proud to say, a youth soccer coach. I have navigated the subject of sportsmanship in the heat of competition both personally and professionally. That is why when I learned the story of the female college soccer player in New Mexico I was appalled.

As I continue to watch the footage of the New Mexico University Junior committing heinous acts of assault on her fellow soccer players during a game recently, I am reminded of how far off the path of civility we have traveled. We as a society have made winning in competition so important that we have lost sight of our basic code of humanity.

TV commentator responses have ranged from outrage to a more tepid response of "that's sports". Some people close to the player have been quick to defend her, claiming that this behavior was out of character for the young woman. I don't believe that. You don't just wake up one morning and start yanking rivals down to the ground by their ponytails when you think no one is looking. That kind of instinct builds up over time. It speaks to your personal truth about right and wrong.

Don't judge dad because he's not into toddler playtime

NICOLE PAITSEL — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:15 CST

For some reason, my husband didn't want to dress up like a garden gnome for Halloween.

Begging, pleading and reasoning with him did no good. He just couldn't see that our 16-month-old son would be absolutely adorable as a garden gnome, and we would be so sweet as a family of garden gnomes.

Attempts to make his character more palatable by promising that he could be a "lumberjack gnome" didn't help.

Family Meals Matter: A make-ahead Thanksgiving

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

Planning ahead is one of the easiest ways to avoid becoming overloaded during the hectic holiday season. To help families take some of the stress out of preparing a Thanksgiving feast, we're switching up the column a bit this week to share with you some of our favorite make-ahead holiday dishes. We're even sharing them a week ahead of time so you have plenty of time to plan on spending more time with your family, instead of preparing food, this Thanksgiving.

For a festive family feast that's relatively stress-free, plan on Maple Roasted Turkey with Stuffed Squash with Bulgur and Feta and Maple-Pumpkin Custards with Crystallized Ginger. Both the squash and the custard can be made in advance, leaving you with plenty of time for the turkey.

Other recipes this week can be made in advance as appetizers, like Spinach Balls and Caramelized Apples with Toasted Walnut Brie or additional side dishes for your turkey dinner like Triple Cranberry Sauce or Thanksgiving Giblet Gravy. Register for free at MealsMatter.org to add these and other healthy recipes to your own personalized meal plan and shopping list.

My son's first fist fight

LINDSAY — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

My son is 4 1/2. 4 1/2. I witnessed him getting punched in the face while the "perpetrator" (can a 6 year old be a "perpetrator?") sat on top of him and a group of 5 other kids stood around yelling "Fight. Fight. Fight." That there my friends, is a defining moment in a boy's, and mom's, life.

I would never consider myself a helicopter mom. In fact, I think I'm fairly laid-back when it comes to "protecting" my kids from life experiences. Even at the young age of 8 months, when my son would crawl into spaces too small and then cry big tears while he awaited rescue, my husband and I would watch with careful curiosity to see just how he would get himself out of the mess he had gotten himself into. It was our decided parenting style that we wanted him to figure things out for himself & not wait for mom and dad to swoop in and rescue him.

Well as I sat on the hill watching my son, the youngest of the group, play soccer with a group of boys, it was pretty clear that today, he was in over his head. During the game he was always a step behind, kicking ankles and diving for the ball- all in an attempt to somehow stay in the game and run with the big kids. When the ankle kicking and grass-diving technique was not delivering the intended results, my son switched to a game of tackle soccer. This is his typical back-up plan. He absolutely loves wrestling with older boys and usually, they get a kick out of his small fry attempts at bringing them down.

Herding Squirrels: I love my mom

TRACI ARBIOS — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

I was hiding in the closet again.

Sometimes my life overwhelms me. Sometimes being within the same four walls as seven children, months-on-end with no breaks in between? Sometimes that makes me insane. Because, dear readers, it is precisely at those times that I want to throttle each and every one of them. Or, maybe, just throttle myself.

Most times, family and friends voice praise over my ability to cope with the insanity. In truth, I sometimes impress myself. One generally doesn't notice the world speeding by one's car window ; one is usually focused on the drive ahead.

9 to 5 to 9: Yes, I've become one of THOSE moms

DEBRA LEGG — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

I'm not a big meeting person - I've sat through too many in my life to voluntarily assign myself more.

I'm not a big on telling schools how to do their jobs - as much as I like to rail about goofy education policies, when it comes down to a "boots on the ground" basis, I work within the local structure and supplement at home when I think the system is off track.

But a recent shift at Boots preschool - they went from an approach that included phonics to the semi-silly Creative Curriculum - seemed so nonsensical that I couldn't let it go. Even worse than the change was speed with which it happened. One Friday they were under one system, the next Monday they were on another. I found out about the change the following week at a parent-teacher conference. Another mom heard about it at a baby shower.

Breastfeeding promotes good health in general as well as during a crisis

BRENDA GUTIERREZ — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

Many moms know breastfeeding is a good idea, but did you know it could save lives?

"During emergencies-such as an earthquake, flood, flu pandemic, or conflict - where there may be no electricity or refrigeration, and no clean drinking water or feeding bottles, breastfeeding is readily available, safe and clean, requires no supplies, and helps protect babies from illness," said Dr. Marianne Neifert, author of "Great Expectations: The Essential Guide to Breastfeeding" (Sterling Publishing, $14.95) and a Colorado pediatrician with 25 years of expertise in breastfeeding management.

But for mothers who have concerns or struggle with breastfeeding, La Leche League has lactation consultants and groups throughout the state to offer help and support.

Nailing the new normal

SUSAN MCCORKINDALE — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

My ten year-old, Cuyler, peers at me from beneath his thick, brown bangs, bites off a whopping hunk of his Sausage McGriddle, and mumbles, "You think dad will ever be normal again?"

"I hope so," I respond, surprised at both the directness of his question and my own stupidity for ordering a sausage, egg, and bacon biscuit. Breakfasting at McDonald's is a new thing for us. I don't really enjoy it, but since it usually tricks him into talking to me - I think all the lard lubricates his vocal chords - we usually go once a week, whether my stomach can stand it or not.

"You hope so?" he snaps, flipping his bangs out of his eyes so fast his head bounces against the wall behind our booth. Ooh. Even with all his hair, that had to hurt.

The flu wars on the front lines in the schools

VERONICA TORREJON AND CHRISTOPHER BAXTER — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:15 CST

For the last week, as many as 10 students, some with fever, aches and runny noses-telltale signs of the flu-have been lining up at the nurse's office at Easton Area High School in Easton, Pa., by 7:10 a.m.

"As soon as they're off the bus, they're in the nurse's office and they're already being sent home by 8 a.m.," said Deirdre Darragh, a district nurse.

The next morning some of the same sick students will show up again, in what is one of the daily battles school nurses, administrators and staff are facing as they find themselves on the front lines of the H1N1 flu pandemic.

StrollerFit lets mommies work out while entertaining the kids, too

KAREN SHIDELER — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

The workout is what drew her, but Melanie Truschinski says she gets so much more from her four-days-aweek StrollerFit habit. "I just really like the camaraderie," she said one cool morning last week as she and other moms lined up their strollers on a basketball court at Sedgwick County Park. "This is so nice."

StrollerFit classes are a mix of cardio and strength work, much like any boot camp class.

The difference is that babies and children who will stay in strollers are part of it.

Educate yourself about SAT scammers

TIM DARRAGH — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:15 CST

The scam: High schoolers thinking about the next leg of their educational journey just took the PSAT, the precursor to the dreaded SAT. The big test is one of the key steps for students looking to get into college. Since the SAT is so important to so many, it's not at all surprising that rip-off artists have taken advantage of those who want to improve their scores.

How it works: The Better Business Bureau in Dallas reported earlier this year about one test-prep business. It said the company called homes and falsely told parents that their children asked for help preparing for the standardized test. Parents were pressed into agreeing to buy $120 of software and materials and said they were receiving unauthorized monthly charges of $49.95 and had difficulty in returning the goods.

What to do: Don't let a salesperson press you into buying on the spot. If a company has a good product to sell, they should be more than willing to offer you supporting materials. Check with your child's teachers and guidance counselors to find reputable vendors. Some of those teachers may provide extra help on their own.

Games to keep the kids from driving you crazy on long holiday trips

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10 CST

Happy holidays? Not when you're sitting in the back of a minivan driving for endless hours. Many kids will be stuck on road trips this holiday season as airlines are charging extra for special holiday travel and some families are opting to drive to holiday gatherings.

Family road trips can be long and boring. Kids have to deal with annoying siblings in a confined space. But there are ways to occupy yourself and make the trip go faster. Here are five toys that can be stuffed in a backpack and brought in the car:

Backseat scenario: You're cool taking turns with your siblings.